


the colors in your heart that glow

by onenightjoanly



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 09:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17261822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onenightjoanly/pseuds/onenightjoanly
Summary: People shine, they glow in certain ways that stand out from others. Colors, that nobody else saw. Features, that you only see if you truly pay attention.Black and white.





	the colors in your heart that glow

**Author's Note:**

> this could also be known as ‘fourteen seconds.’
> 
> so,, hi!! this is my first time posting to ao3, so it may be a bit messy, but here ya go! if you wanted to read this on my tumblr, my tumblr is "onenightjoanly"
> 
>  
> 
> read!!! warnings: depressing thoughts, toxic relationship, feelings of unworthiness, very much implied atychiphobia, thoughts and the action of suicide, talking down on ones self, major character deaths, stabbing, like a romeo and juliet situation if you catch my drift. let me know if there’s anything else.
> 
> Thanks for readin! xoxo, red <33

The world was black and white.

People shine, they glow in certain ways that stand out from others. Colors, that nobody else saw. Features, that you only see if you truly pay attention.

Black and white.

Some days, you were like graphite, others, titanium white. However, if you were Patton Glass, you would be like green. Not just any green, not luck green, but a nice..muted pastel green; one that provided a calm sense of hope, and honesty.

There were people like Roman Winston, who was like light red; the shade of love and passion. Or people like Logan Waters, who was like blue, the color of understanding and knowledge.

Then..then there were people like Virgil Cassidy; people who seemed like they were charcoal, the color of intimidation, but..were really lilac, as Patton would put it. A light purple that showed love and care, but also protection and nobility.. Patton never really was able to put a solid general color on Virgil, but if you’d ever asked him what color Virgil was, he’d say lilac.

The world, friends, was black and white; not meant for colors like him.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

Patton was with this boy, let’s name him.. Grant.

Grant was toxic, simple as that. Patton was a happy kid until he met Grant. Grant was a brunette boy, 5’8, and handsome.

Grant was yellow. An untrustworthy individual yet he was so..intriguing..that you couldn’t help but walk right into his trap.

Grant and Patton met in the seventh grade, they exchanged numbers and it just became more. Eventually, the two started dating! It was magical at first, but a lot can happen to change that.

It started as a feeling of being unsafe, Patton began to feel like he couldn’t be around Grant or Grant would snap. Then, he felt he wasn’t allowed to be around his friends because Grant would get jealous.

Then, then it got bad. Then Grant would get angry over little things, then Grant would forcefully kiss Patton and…Patton didn’t feel loved like he did in the beginning.

He asked people if these things were normal, they said they weren’t. They said it wasn’t good or healthy.

Patton pushed it back, he thought it was fine, it was normal. All partners had trouble, right?

A couple months had passed and finally Patton realized it wasn’t okay anymore, it wasn’t healthy, they were right.

Patton did end the relationship..but Patton wasn’t green anymore..Patton lost his color day after day.

The world was black and white, that’s it. No color, no good shall get through.

It wasn’t meant for people like him, he was a bad person, a mistake, a waste of skin. Patton didn’t matter. He gave out false hope to people, he was an awful person for even thinking he could help others. The world only needed people like Roman and Logan; Logan and Roman were the better, less bubbly, more sophisticated and wise. He may as well stop existing because he has no worth so why won’t he just-

“Hey uh..can I sit..?”

Screeches filled his mind as the train to spiral city suddenly stopped.

“Oh uh, yeah sure!” Patton smiled, “May I ask your name..?”

“It’s..It’s Virgil, Virgil Cassidy. I’m a transfer student from California..It’s my first day.” he said with a soft smile that made Patton’s heart do a flip

“Oh! Well have you gotten a full tour of Sidesville?”

“No, I haven’t..that would’ve been nice, though.”

“Well, if you’d like, I’ll give you one!” Patton offered, “Oh, silly me, I’m Patton! Patton Glass.”

“Well, Patton,” Virgil began, “I have a free morning tomorrow, Is then okay?”

“Of course! I do too! Oh, and since I can, my treat. I’ll also catch you up after school if that’s okay?”

“Oh cool…thanks.”

“Again it’s my-”

“Alright, alright, settle down everyone, it’s time to start.” Everyone silenced as Miss Juliet walked in, “Today, we’re gonna watch Romeo and Juliet, and you’ll answer some questions while you do so.”

Patton pretty much spaced out after that.

**_The next day._ **

The area was like any other, it was a small town called Sidesville, it had oak trees that lined the streets, people walked around, there were a few restaurants, but overall it was very peaceful.

“Thanks for the tour, Patton.” Virgil smiled lightly

“Of course! Sorry for my poor touring skills.” Patton looked down at his feet

“Nah, you did better than I could’ve, besides, we’ve gotten to know more about each other. I’d say it was a wonderful tour.”

“Thanks.”

“Come on, we gotta head to school.” Virgil said as he grabbed Patton’s hand and took off running

“Woah!”

**_2 months later._ **

“Well, that’s everything in the museum, I hope you enjoyed my awful touring skills once again.”

“It was very nice, Patton, thank you.” Virgil smiled

“If uh..if you’d like..well..if you wanted to..or if uhm-”

“What is it, Pat?”

“Do you wanna go to a movie on Saturday? If you don’t I mean that’s totally cool and if you’re confused I meant it as a date but again if you don’t want to that’s-”

“I’d love to,” Virgil interrupted, “Pick me up an hour before the movie.” he smiled before he quickly pecked Patton on the lips

“But you don’t even know what it is!” Patton said as Virgil began to walk away

“Neither do you! I know you haven’t gotten tickets yet.” Virgil smirked

“Touche..” Patton smiled

Don’t screw it up. Don’t turn him toxic like you did the last one, dumbass.

**_6 months later._**

Things were bad.

Well okay, things with Patton mentally were bad, but otherwise everything was okay! Virgil and Patton had started dating a few months before, things were looking really good!

Until they weren’t.

One day, Virgil and Patton were sitting with Roman and Logan at the pier, they were all just talking…until Patton started to get into his thoughts, his fears turning into situations he could see clearly, his world turning upside down in a matter of moments. 

You’re a failure. You aren’t good enough for this picture perfect world. You’re a waste of skin, Patton Glass. Just say you’re done and end it already you pathetic shit. You’ve never been good enough.

“I’m done.” he whispered

_That’s it..come on.._

“Huh? What was that, babe?”

_You heard me._

“I’m..I’m done.” Patton said, a little louder

“What do you mean, Pat?” Logan asked

“I can’t..I can’t do this anymore.” Patton huffed as he gripped his hair and stood up

“Babe, listen to me, focus on me, okay?”

“No, no I need to go.” Patton said, beginning to cry, and before anyone could protest, Patton bolted to the apartment building he lived in.

_Worthless, inconvenient little Patton._

_Perfect, peppy, happy little Patton._

_You damn liar, you’re just like Grant, y’know that? You’re toxic, you’re bad for him._

**_Ring…ring..ri-_**

“He..hello..?”

“Baby? Baby thank god I got you, hey, listen to me okay? Do not do anything, I’m gonna come get you and we’ll figure this out together, okay?”

_Oh no no no, pretty boy, can’t you see? He’s bad for you. All he does is make you feel worse about yourself. He’s a source of worry and anxiety._

“Virgil, I..I’m sorry.”

_A waste of oxygen._

“No no no no, Patton, baby, baby stay with me I’m almost there I’ve got you, okay?”

_He makes everything worse! He sits here, and whines and complains about his stupid and unrealistic problems._

“No. No, honey..I need to do this..let me go.”

_You need to just make the world stop._

“Patton-”

_You’re not good enough for this world, nobody wants your stupid hope and positivity, nobody wants a fake. This world doesn’t have room for someone that’s a color like you._

“I love you. Goodbye, Virgil.”

_It never has._

Patton looked out at the colorless world beneath him as he threw his phone to the ground, and with one last breath leaned forward.

_But.. maybe it could._

“I’m sor-”

He fell down into the darkness below, at Roman and Logan’s feet, just as Virgil made it up to the roof.

Virgil fell to the ground with a scream, not knowing how he’ll live without his forever, he did the one thing that seemed right in that moment: he took out his knife, and stabbed himself with it as he dropped his phone to the ground next to Patton’s, an ambulance already on the way.

The world wasn’t black and white, but Patton realized that 14 seconds too late.


End file.
